My moms wallet
I still have my moms wallet and her purse. It’s amazing to me that this would bring so much comfort to me. When I’m down I grab my moms wallet and hold it tight. I remember back when she had dementia she would sometimes go through her purse and pull out her wallet and name off everything g that was in there. She would say I have my social security card and this card and that cuz she couldn’t remember. And to be honest it used to drive my kind of nuts but now that I think k back I would give anything to have my mom do that. It’s so funny now that she’s gone these things bring comfort to my very soul. I guess we should all just soak up every minute that we have with somebody. Who would of thought that my moms wallet would of done that to me. I wish now I would of written little things that she did even with dementia it would of given my comfort now and forever. If only I knew. (August 22, 2021)
I’m trying to write again. It’s taken me some time but I’m starting too. I love sharing with you. I really needed time to heal I still am not great but at least I’m trying. This poem I wrote for my mom and dad. I love and miss them everyday. 😊💕❤️
Sometimes I cry
I miss you so much
If only I could feel your touch once again
I cry and cry
I miss everything about you i miss your smile I wish I could give you a hug if only for a moment
You left such a hole in my heart ♥️
That no one can fill like you
You were the best you always cared
For me from birth to the day you left.
Reflections of Love/CD💕❤️♥️
I wanted to wish you all a Happy Easter. It is the day that we celebrate Jesus coming alive again. I’m so thankful for that. This Easter is the first Easter without my mom. It just seems so different. I went to church I made a Easter dinner but still it just wasn’t the same. Two people who were in my life for so many years are gone. Who raised me from a infant. I miss them terribly. Grief is something that you carry with you forever. It never goes away. Some days you feel better then all of a sudden you have this thought in your mind of their smile their touch their voice and it overwhelms you. You try to go on but there’s such a hurt it’s hard to bare. I know it will get better in time but the Holidays are the worst. You just feel lost and you can’t find your way. My mom had dementia but I would give anything to see her again and tell her I love her. I started writing this blog when my mom had dementia and it helped to write. Now I feel it helps to share with all of you my grief in losing both of my parents. It helps to know that other people also share my pain. I hope In time I can get back to writing again. I miss it but I know I need time to heal. This Easter was different but it was good too. I know my mom and dad would want me to go on and share. That’s one thing they taught me to care. So hopefully soon I will be back and Sharing again but for now I’m still healing! But I hope you all have a Happy Easter. Enjoy every minute of
your family. And every day. 😀🌈☹️
Copyright:Reflections of Love/CD❤️💕
Next week on February 6th will be my moms birthday. This will be the first birthday I won’t be celebrating with her. This is her first birthday in heaven. My mom wound if been 80 this year. I remember last year I went to her nursing home and I brought my mom a cupcake and she ate it and that made her so happy. I brought her a balloon too and she enjoyed that too. I wish I could get that day back again. I wish I could see her smile again. I feel bad that I never captured a picture of that day because that was her last birthday here with me. I just didn’t know. I guess it’s ok but this Saturday I’m going to make a cake and celebrate my mom and her life. In memory of her and the love she had for me and everyone. Then on February 22 it will be my dads birthday. This is his second birthday in heaven. I’m going to celebrate that day too. I’m going to remember my dad and how he cared for my mom so much til the very end. Even when he was sick himself he took care of her and he loved her so much. I’m going to remember him and honor him. I miss them both so much. I struggle everyday with this . I know they would want me to be happy and live for them. Some days are good other days it’s tough. I haven’t been writing as much but I’m trying to heal from everything. There really isn’t a certain amount of time to grieve. I know it’s different for everybody.
Copyright://Reflections of Love CD 😊❤️
I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been busy working my new job and preparing for the Holidays. I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since my mom passed away. I miss her so much. It’s especially hard this year for me because this is the first year without my parents. I miss them so much and I can hardly believe it. It’s a day to day struggle but I’ve been doing fairly well. I want to continue writing my blog. I think that is what my mom and dad would want. I want to continue this journey.
I hope you will still continue to read my blog. I want to help other people who might be dealing with people with dementia and Alzheimer’s and who struggle losing their parents. So maybe I can write again and share my heart and maybe along the way help someone. I hope to write more and I hope I can share with all of you.
Copyright://Reflections of Love/CD❤️🌈❤️
Well I don’t know what to say today. I miss my mom and dad everyday. It will be almost a year since my dad passed away on October 13th and that doesn’t even seem possible. I can’t believe it but I know it’s true. My moms has been gone four months too. I started this blog almost five years ago when my mom was just diagnosed with dementia. Boy does that seem like a lifetime ago. So much has changed now it’s seems still unreal to me. I wish I would of told them more how much I loved them. Now it’s to late. I’m so glad I took care of them as long as I did. I have so many good memories now. It doesn’t really get any easier as the days go on. I have so many things I could say to them.
Even though my mom had dementia I miss her just being here. Her smile, her laugh she cared for me to the very end. I don’t regret any of the time I spent with her. I know they are together again and happy.
I started a new job two weeks ago at a call center. I’m enjoying working again and it helps me through. I hope to keep writing this blog. I’ve enjoyed it so much! I hope someone will be touched by it. It would be worth it to me.
Copyright://Reflections of Love CD 😊❤️💜
I haven’t been on here much lately. Just trying to get over the lost of both of my parents in such a short time. I miss them more than anything. I’m trying to go day by day but it’s so hard.
I spent everyday at their house for the last four years so it’s very difficult to know what to do now. Right now I’m in the process of going through all of their stuff and selling their trailer that they lived in for 35 years. It’s really a major task and it brings up so many memories too. You never know what is like to you actually have to go through it. I had a sale this past weekend and I got rid of some things it’s just so difficult. There’s no way to make it easier.
I think about them everyday. My mom had dementia but I still miss her. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her in a proper way! I miss her smile and her laugh and she was always looking out for me. She was a great mom and my dad was too. I’m so thankful I had amazing parents that always put me first. They would do anything for you all you would have to do is ask and they would be there. For this I’m forever grateful. Maybe I didn’t have everything in the material stuff but I had parents that loved me and I was so honored to take care of them too the best that I could.
My mom eventually had to go into a nursing home because I was physically and emotionally exhausted but I visited her everyday or every other day that I could. I know that was the best for her. But when this virus hit I didn’t get to visit her at all for 3 months. I did talk to her on the phone but it just wasn’t the same. I know she missed me being with her and I missed 3 months with her . And I think she just gave up. She fell and broke her hip at the very end and then she got the virus and that was the end. I didn’t get to be by her side I didn’t even get to tell her I loved her. She just went and that was that. It wasn’t fair that had to happen.
But at least I know her and my dad are together again after 60 years here on this earth. For that I am forever grateful and I will never regret anything. I hope through this blog I can help someone who might know someone who has dementia or someone who just needs someone to tell that it’s going to be ok. It will be worth it to me if only one person is helped in some way. Have a wonderful day and enjoy life.
Copyright:/.Reflections of Love/CD 😊❤️🌈
It’s been 6 weeks since my mom passed away. I miss her very much. It’s so different now that she’s not here. I’ve been trying to stay busy so I don’t think about it as much. The days just seem to run together I was so consumed with my mom and dad I forgot how to take care of me. I don’t regret taking care of them I’m glad I spent so much time with them because I can never get that back. I miss them so much it hurts to even write this.
We still haven’t had a memorial service for my mom hopefully soon because it will give me some type of closure to this journey. I know it will happen soon and it to will be a distant memory. I hope I have helped someone who is also on this journey with dementia because that would be a goal that I have accomplished through this blog. I know this road hasn’t been easy for me but I wouldn’t change any of it. At least my mom and dad are together once again. Their anniversary is July 22 and this year would of been their 61st year. Now I think that’s quite a accomplishment and now they can celebrate together in heaven. I will celebrate also with them. And one day we will all be together again. I love and miss you my sweet mom and dad! ❤️🌈💜
Copyright:// Reflections of Love/CD ❤️
This is the hardest post I have ever had to write. I started this blog 5 years ago when my mom was diagnosed with dementia and I started it to try and cope with it and to help others who might be going through the same thing. Well Saturday May 23, 2020 my moms journey with dementia ended. I’m happy she’s free again and she’s my my dad. But I miss her so. Because of the virus we can’t have a service for her to later. But I’m trying to make the best of it. I will continue this blog I really like writing and sharing. I wrote this poem just a few days before my mom passed away. I hope you like it and have a wonderful day! 😊
How can I say goodbye to the person
Who gave life to me my mother, my friend
My help my protector
The person who has been with me my entire life from birth to now.
I don’t want to say Goodbye mom I love you so much I wish I could feel your sweet touch again if only for a moment.
But I know you have to go so I’m not going to stop you But I will miss you so much and I will never forget you and you will always be in my heart
And I know one day I will see you again
Til that time make sure you tell dad I love him too and miss him and love him too !
Till we meet again My Sweet Mama! 💜
Copyright:Reflections of Love/CD ❤️💕🌈
Like most of you I’m kind of stuck in my house. It really changes your perspective on life and how fragile it is. After this I will never take for granted anything. Like just going out to get groceries again. Now if you dare go out you have to wear a mask and gloves and when you get home you have to go right to the sink and wash your hands. It has taught me to value everything I have cuz it can be taken so quickly.
It’s very hard but it’s not as bad as some people who have lost their love ones to this terrible disease so I’m thankful to God for that. All my family are ok so I’m very thankful for that.
The hardest part of this whole thing has been not being able to see my mom. I haven’t seen her since March 9th and its been very difficult. I’ve video chatted and talked with her on the phone but that’s not the same as actually seeing her. I miss her so and I miss my dad too who passed away last October. I’m trying to get through all of this like all of you.
I hope you are all safe and secure and I hope this comes to a end soon. For now that’s all be thankful for everyday that God gives us and never take life for granted again.
Take Care. Love to you all.
Copyright: Reflections of Love/CD❤️