One of the hardest things we do is wait. I’ve been waiting on getting ready to start working on my new job. Sometimes it’s frustrating but I do the best I can. I wrote this poem this morning. I hope you like it. Have a wonderful day !
We got a Yorker on December 31st 2012 because my daughter Cheryl really wanted a dog. She was just a puppy all those years ago. We lost her on September 1st and I miss her so much. I wrote this poem. When you lose a pet it really hurts they become part of your family.
My moms wallet
I still have my moms wallet and her purse. It’s amazing to me that this would bring so much comfort to me. When I’m down I grab my moms wallet and hold it tight. I remember back when she had dementia she would sometimes go through her purse and pull out her wallet and name off everything g that was in there. She would say I have my social security card and this card and that cuz she couldn’t remember. And to be honest it used to drive my kind of nuts but now that I think k back I would give anything to have my mom do that. It’s so funny now that she’s gone these things bring comfort to my very soul. I guess we should all just soak up every minute that we have with somebody. Who would of thought that my moms wallet would of done that to me. I wish now I would of written little things that she did even with dementia it would of given my comfort now and forever. If only I knew. (August 22, 2021)
I haven’t been on to much. I miss my mom and dad everyday. I am trying to keep writing and sharing with all of you. I wrote this poem a few weeks ago and I hope you like it. I try to share from my heart.
I’m trying to write again. It’s taken me some time but I’m starting too. I love sharing with you. I really needed time to heal I still am not great but at least I’m trying. This poem I wrote for my mom and dad. I love and miss them everyday. 😊💕❤️
Sometimes I cry
I miss you so much
If only I could feel your touch once again
I cry and cry
I miss everything about you i miss your smile I wish I could give you a hug if only for a moment
I haven’t been writing to much. May 23 marks a year since my mom passed away. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. Mother’s Day was a very hard day for me. I miss my mom so much. I guess it’s just takes time when you lose both your parents. It takes a while to get over and even though you really never get over it. I’m thankful I spent a lot of time with them and cared for them like I did. But now it just leaves such a hole in my life. Hopefully soon I can get back to writing poems and sharing my thoughts. I really needed time to process all of this. I have gone back to work. So that helps me.
I hope to continue this blog and keep sharing with you. Maybe I can help someone who is going through things that I have. That will be worth it all to me. I try to remember all the good times me and my parents shared and try to hold on and carry those with me.
I hope you will continue reading my blog so I can share with you. Grief is something we all go through there’s no beginning or end. Some days I’m fine other days I’m not. It comes and goes. I remember their voice and I miss them so much it hurts. I wish I could go back for just a minute second but I can’t do I have to go on. No matter how much it hurts. It’s painful it hurts it’s real you feel sad alone afraid and everything in between. Some days you feel guilty for not feeling sad and not feeling down because then you would know that it’s really real and it really happened and you would wake up from this nightmare. I don’t know where this is going. Maybe we can share our grief together. Maybe we can cry together because we lost someone that we love a mother, father, sister brother. Maybe we can help each other get through all of this.
I hope you all have a great day ahead. Keep pressing on. And I will do my best too. Take care.
I wanted to wish you all a Happy Easter. It is the day that we celebrate Jesus coming alive again. I’m so thankful for that. This Easter is the first Easter without my mom. It just seems so different. I went to church I made a Easter dinner but still it just wasn’t the same. Two people who were in my life for so many years are gone. Who raised me from a infant. I miss them terribly. Grief is something that you carry with you forever. It never goes away. Some days you feel better then all of a sudden you have this thought in your mind of their smile their touch their voice and it overwhelms you. You try to go on but there’s such a hurt it’s hard to bare. I know it will get better in time but the Holidays are the worst. You just feel lost and you can’t find your way. My mom had dementia but I would give anything to see her again and tell her I love her. I started writing this blog when my mom had dementia and it helped to write. Now I feel it helps to share with all of you my grief in losing both of my parents. It helps to know that other people also share my pain. I hope In time I can get back to writing again. I miss it but I know I need time to heal. This Easter was different but it was good too. I know my mom and dad would want me to go on and share. That’s one thing they taught me to care. So hopefully soon I will be back and Sharing again but for now I’m still healing! But I hope you all have a Happy Easter. Enjoy every minute of
Next week on February 6th will be my moms birthday. This will be the first birthday I won’t be celebrating with her. This is her first birthday in heaven. My mom wound if been 80 this year. I remember last year I went to her nursing home and I brought my mom a cupcake and she ate it and that made her so happy. I brought her a balloon too and she enjoyed that too. I wish I could get that day back again. I wish I could see her smile again. I feel bad that I never captured a picture of that day because that was her last birthday here with me. I just didn’t know. I guess it’s ok but this Saturday I’m going to make a cake and celebrate my mom and her life. In memory of her and the love she had for me and everyone. Then on February 22 it will be my dads birthday. This is his second birthday in heaven. I’m going to celebrate that day too. I’m going to remember my dad and how he cared for my mom so much til the very end. Even when he was sick himself he took care of her and he loved her so much. I’m going to remember him and honor him. I miss them both so much. I struggle everyday with this . I know they would want me to be happy and live for them. Some days are good other days it’s tough. I haven’t been writing as much but I’m trying to heal from everything. There really isn’t a certain amount of time to grieve. I know it’s different for everybody.
I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been busy working my new job and preparing for the Holidays. I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since my mom passed away. I miss her so much. It’s especially hard this year for me because this is the first year without my parents. I miss them so much and I can hardly believe it. It’s a day to day struggle but I’ve been doing fairly well. I want to continue writing my blog. I think that is what my mom and dad would want. I want to continue this journey.
I hope you will still continue to read my blog. I want to help other people who might be dealing with people with dementia and Alzheimer’s and who struggle losing their parents. So maybe I can write again and share my heart and maybe along the way help someone. I hope to write more and I hope I can share with all of you.
Well I don’t know what to say today. I miss my mom and dad everyday. It will be almost a year since my dad passed away on October 13th and that doesn’t even seem possible. I can’t believe it but I know it’s true. My moms has been gone four months too. I started this blog almost five years ago when my mom was just diagnosed with dementia. Boy does that seem like a lifetime ago. So much has changed now it’s seems still unreal to me. I wish I would of told them more how much I loved them. Now it’s to late. I’m so glad I took care of them as long as I did. I have so many good memories now. It doesn’t really get any easier as the days go on. I have so many things I could say to them.
Even though my mom had dementia I miss her just being here. Her smile, her laugh she cared for me to the very end. I don’t regret any of the time I spent with her. I know they are together again and happy.
I started a new job two weeks ago at a call center. I’m enjoying working again and it helps me through. I hope to keep writing this blog. I’ve enjoyed it so much! I hope someone will be touched by it. It would be worth it to me.