Next week on February 6th will be my moms birthday. This will be the first birthday I won’t be celebrating with her. This is her first birthday in heaven. My mom wound if been 80 this year. I remember last year I went to her nursing home and I brought my mom a cupcake and she ate it and that made her so happy. I brought her a balloon too and she enjoyed that too. I wish I could get that day back again. I wish I could see her smile again. I feel bad that I never captured a picture of that day because that was her last birthday here with me. I just didn’t know. I guess it’s ok but this Saturday I’m going to make a cake and celebrate my mom and her life. In memory of her and the love she had for me and everyone. Then on February 22 it will be my dads birthday. This is his second birthday in heaven. I’m going to celebrate that day too. I’m going to remember my dad and how he cared for my mom so much til the very end. Even when he was sick himself he took care of her and he loved her so much. I’m going to remember him and honor him. I miss them both so much. I struggle everyday with this . I know they would want me to be happy and live for them. Some days are good other days it’s tough. I haven’t been writing as much but I’m trying to heal from everything. There really isn’t a certain amount of time to grieve. I know it’s different for everybody.

Copyright://Reflections of Love CD 😊❤️

Well I don’t know what to say today. I miss my mom and dad everyday. It will be almost a year since my dad passed away on October 13th and that doesn’t even seem possible. I can’t believe it but I know it’s true. My moms has been gone four months too. I started this blog almost five years ago when my mom was just diagnosed with dementia. Boy does that seem like a lifetime ago. So much has changed now it’s seems still unreal to me. I wish I would of told them more how much I loved them. Now it’s to late. I’m so glad I took care of them as long as I did. I have so many good memories now. It doesn’t really get any easier as the days go on. I have so many things I could say to them.

Even though my mom had dementia I miss her just being here. Her smile, her laugh she cared for me to the very end. I don’t regret any of the time I spent with her. I know they are together again and happy.

I started a new job two weeks ago at a call center. I’m enjoying working again and it helps me through. I hope to keep writing this blog. I’ve enjoyed it so much! I hope someone will be touched by it. It would be worth it to me.

Copyright://Reflections of Love CD 😊❤️💜

I haven’t been on here much lately. Just trying to get over the lost of both of my parents in such a short time. I miss them more than anything. I’m trying to go day by day but it’s so hard.

I spent everyday at their house for the last four years so it’s very difficult to know what to do now. Right now I’m in the process of going through all of their stuff and selling their trailer that they lived in for 35 years. It’s really a major task and it brings up so many memories too. You never know what is like to you actually have to go through it. I had a sale this past weekend and I got rid of some things it’s just so difficult. There’s no way to make it easier.

I think about them everyday. My mom had dementia but I still miss her. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her in a proper way! I miss her smile and her laugh and she was always looking out for me. She was a great mom and my dad was too. I’m so thankful I had amazing parents that always put me first. They would do anything for you all you would have to do is ask and they would be there. For this I’m forever grateful. Maybe I didn’t have everything in the material stuff but I had parents that loved me and I was so honored to take care of them too the best that I could.

My mom eventually had to go into a nursing home because I was physically and emotionally exhausted but I visited her everyday or every other day that I could. I know that was the best for her. But when this virus hit I didn’t get to visit her at all for 3 months. I did talk to her on the phone but it just wasn’t the same. I know she missed me being with her and I missed 3 months with her . And I think she just gave up. She fell and broke her hip at the very end and then she got the virus and that was the end. I didn’t get to be by her side I didn’t even get to tell her I loved her. She just went and that was that. It wasn’t fair that had to happen.

But at least I know her and my dad are together again after 60 years here on this earth. For that I am forever grateful and I will never regret anything. I hope through this blog I can help someone who might know someone who has dementia or someone who just needs someone to tell that it’s going to be ok. It will be worth it to me if only one person is helped in some way. Have a wonderful day and enjoy life.

Copyright:/.Reflections of Love/CD 😊❤️🌈

It’s been 6 weeks since my mom passed away. I miss her very much. It’s so different now that she’s not here. I’ve been trying to stay busy so I don’t think about it as much. The days just seem to run together I was so consumed with my mom and dad I forgot how to take care of me. I don’t regret taking care of them I’m glad I spent so much time with them because I can never get that back. I miss them so much it hurts to even write this.

We still haven’t had a memorial service for my mom hopefully soon because it will give me some type of closure to this journey. I know it will happen soon and it to will be a distant memory. I hope I have helped someone who is also on this journey with dementia because that would be a goal that I have accomplished through this blog. I know this road hasn’t been easy for me but I wouldn’t change any of it. At least my mom and dad are together once again. Their anniversary is July 22 and this year would of been their 61st year. Now I think that’s quite a accomplishment and now they can celebrate together in heaven. I will celebrate also with them. And one day we will all be together again. I love and miss you my sweet mom and dad! ❤️🌈💜

Copyright:// Reflections of Love/CD ❤️

Like most of you I’m kind of stuck in my house. It really changes your perspective on life and how fragile it is. After this I will never take for granted anything. Like just going out to get groceries again. Now if you dare go out you have to wear a mask and gloves and when you get home you have to go right to the sink and wash your hands. It has taught me to value everything I have cuz it can be taken so quickly.

It’s very hard but it’s not as bad as some people who have lost their love ones to this terrible disease so I’m thankful to God for that. All my family are ok so I’m very thankful for that.

The hardest part of this whole thing has been not being able to see my mom. I haven’t seen her since March 9th and its been very difficult. I’ve video chatted and talked with her on the phone but that’s not the same as actually seeing her. I miss her so and I miss my dad too who passed away last October. I’m trying to get through all of this like all of you.

I hope you are all safe and secure and I hope this comes to a end soon. For now that’s all be thankful for everyday that God gives us and never take life for granted again.

Take Care. Love to you all.

Copyright: Reflections of Love/CD❤️

I am a dementia daughter

My mom has dementia and I am her

Daughter

Even though she doesn’t know it

It’s been a journey like no other

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone

To see your own mom getting

Worse and worse by the day.

And all you can do is sit back and watch

Her fade away

More and more

It tares your heart out to see the one

Who you always depended on change

So severely you don’t even know

Who they  are anymore that nothing they says

Makes any sense at all just like a two year old just gibberish

It’s devastating enough to take

Your breath away!

All you want to do is scream cry til you can’t anymore

And all you want is to stop and let you off this

Rollercoaster that you’ve been on for

So long!

That’s a dementia daughter!

Copyright:\\ Reflections of Love \\CD 💗🌈

I wrote this poem. My mom is in a nursing home and I visit with her quite often. When I visit the people there look so sad because hardly any of their family visits them. Have a great day!

Forgotten ones

These are the people

That need us the most

They are our fathers, mothers

Sisters, brothers

But they have been placed

Like they were erased

Nobody comes to

Visit them.

You can see it on their face

The loneliness and pain

All they want is for someone

To love them and to show

Them they care.

All they might need is a smile.

These are the forgotten ones.

Copyright: Reflections of Love/CD ❤️❤️❤️🤣❤️❤️❤️🤣🤣🤣❤️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️