Next week on February 6th will be my moms birthday. This will be the first birthday I won’t be celebrating with her. This is her first birthday in heaven. My mom wound if been 80 this year. I remember last year I went to her nursing home and I brought my mom a cupcake and she ate it and that made her so happy. I brought her a balloon too and she enjoyed that too. I wish I could get that day back again. I wish I could see her smile again. I feel bad that I never captured a picture of that day because that was her last birthday here with me. I just didn’t know. I guess it’s ok but this Saturday I’m going to make a cake and celebrate my mom and her life. In memory of her and the love she had for me and everyone. Then on February 22 it will be my dads birthday. This is his second birthday in heaven. I’m going to celebrate that day too. I’m going to remember my dad and how he cared for my mom so much til the very end. Even when he was sick himself he took care of her and he loved her so much. I’m going to remember him and honor him. I miss them both so much. I struggle everyday with this . I know they would want me to be happy and live for them. Some days are good other days it’s tough. I haven’t been writing as much but I’m trying to heal from everything. There really isn’t a certain amount of time to grieve. I know it’s different for everybody.
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