Today I had to take my dad to the hospital because he has chronic kidney disease and he had to have his usual blood work done which is every year . So I drove his car and drove him and my mom down there. This usually isn’t really a big thing for us. But today it was quite difficult going with my mom. It was very difficult for her to get in and out of the car. She gets so agitated just sitting and waiting.
She really doesn’t like to sit still for very long anymore at all. She kept asking me if my dad was done and I just kept telling her that he was almost ready over and over. I think she thought he was at a doctor’s appointment or something and she just kept asking me when it was her turn. She was very confused and agitated. It was really hard to see my mom like this. It makes me feel so helpless that I really can’t do anything just watch her go down hill more and more everyday.
I pray for her everyday but that’s all I can really do. It’s really devastating and terrifying to see your own mother struggle so much and be so different. You don’t want to say anything or get upset but you really want to run somewhere and hide. You think it’s not fair that this is your mom and it’s so hard. Then their are people who work at the hospital who give my mom weird looks because she walks with her head down now. It’s really sad that some people are like this and my mom has a devastating brain disease and she can’t help it.
I just couldn’t wait to go home and get my mom out of there. I know she can’t control it but I wish I had my “old” mom back even for a second, minute or anything. I just got to grin and bear it I guess and be very thankful for another day. 😊🌼